3 Reasons We’re Afraid of Generosity

Generosity can be one of those touchy subjects. Aside from the fact that many pastors are reluctant to preach on it, and those who are givers are often hesitant to discuss it for fear of seeming boastful, the subject of generosity has a way of striking at sensitive core issues like none other.

There are three main reasons that generosity exposes so many raw nerves.

  • Fear. Many times we are afraid of generosity because we fear what we might be asked to give up or give away. And there are so many forms that fear can take—fear of not having enough, fear of loss of security, fear of loss of standard of living, fear of loss of financial freedom, fear of giving up something we desire, etc.
  • Guilt. Some of it has to do with our own consciences. We’re secretly afraid that we should be doing more or that God won’t be pleased with us until we reach a certain place of generosity.
  • Control. Sometimes we don’t like being told what to do. We don’t want to be told what we can do with our resources. Or, we want to ensure that our money is only spent in ways that we know are worthwhile.

Some of these objections to generosity have roots in good desires. For example, if we fear generosity means we won’t have enough on a rainy day, that fear ultimately comes from the good desire to provide for our families. However, the issue is our fallen nature has twisted those good desires into bonds that control us and tempt us to take matters into our own hands.

When God asks us to be generous, it’s not because He needs our money or resources. He already owns them all. It’s not because if we don’t give, then a ministry won’t be supported. God asks us to give because He loves us and He wants our hearts. Generosity is one of the tools God uses to help our hearts let go. It frees us to love God with a whole and unafraid heart.

In the new The Generosity Bet book, Henry Kaestner shared about how he and his wife felt like they were being generous. At the time, they were “double-tithing,” or giving about 20 percent. However, when a friend challenged him about why he gave, Henry realized how his giving stemmed from thinking that now God must be pleased with him.

Or, in the case of Anne Irwin, a mother and a business owner, when God asked her to start a giving circle to bring other women into generosity, she kept using the excuse that she was just too busy.

However, as both Anne and Henry looked at their motivations and just chose to take the next step into generosity, they began understanding the joy of giving. And through giving their time, resources, and passions, God began freeing their hearts to love Him more.

So, what is your heart holding onto? What next step of generosity might God be calling you to take so you can live free and live without fear?

For more stories like these, and for practical ideas for taking the next step in your generosity journey, order your copy of The Generosity Bet today.

What Is This Gift?

by William F. High

What is one of the most underappreciated jobs? I travel enough, and the big thing these days is for hotels to offer you a “free” breakfast. Well, that free breakfast means that someone has to get up by 4:30 a.m., arrive at the hotel and begin setting up—mainly a lot of pre-made stuff to which no pride of chefdom is accompanied. There’s a lot of cleaning up of dishes, picking up oatmeal goo still left in bowls, surrounded by still sleepy guests too busy to notice.

But magic happened to me recently. In one of the hotels I stay, I came across Diana, the breakfast hostess. She’s short, with raven hair, flashing eyes, and a strong accent. She hustles around the little breakfast area and in her broken English busts in on conversations of business-focused guests. Somehow, she makes them smile and she laughs—heartily.

I noticed, and I asked Diana: “What makes you so happy?” She told me, “I just happy.” And I asked what brought her to this country, and at that her eyes darkened, “My sister…she is sick.” A debilitating disease. So Diana picked up, left her homeland to serve her sister and her family.

I had to leave, and Diana was off to another customer anyhow. But on my next visit in town, I needed breakfast and there was Diana again. Still moving fast, still smiling, still laughing—so I caught up to her and asked her, “How is your sister?” It had been a couple of months since I’d seen her and she didn’t remember that I knew her secret. “How do you know about my sister?”

And then she remembered, “Ah yes, you asked the last time.” She brightened again and told me she was doing well, and skipped off. As I gulped down my breakfast, I couldn’t help sense the nudge, and I pulled out a bigger bill for a tip—bigger than the pre-made buffet breakfast meal deserved. I called Diana out of the kitchen and pressed the bill in her hand. “God bless you for taking care of your sister. Thank you for giving,” I said.

Her breath shortened, and her eyes moistened as she fanned her face and choked, “I’m going to cry.”

As I left there, I couldn’t help but think the gift deserves the gift. Diana’s sacrifice, her energy in serving, the smile, the laughter deserved a response.

And as I write now, here at Christmas, I cannot help but think of Jesus. He left a home, left his Father, left what was comfortable to serve in a place among bleary-eyed, inattentive travelers. But even still, He served, He touched, He healed and He brought joy to a darkened world. Oh today, even today, the gift, His gift, deserves our devotion, our attention, our gift. Christmas.

What if my gift isn’t used wisely?

Many times when people consider giving, one of their biggest fears is that their money won’t be used wisely, whether it’s given to a homeless person, a struggling neighbor, or even to their local church. Since this is a common struggle, and at times, a legitimate concern, it’s an important issue to address.

What is God asking me to do?

First and foremost, we should always be asking where God is calling us to give. Be sensitive to those “God nudges” that ask you to notice someone, to give. An older gentleman, one of the most generous people I know, said that when he’s in a position for spontaneous generosity, he’s found he needs to obey those God nudges within 10 seconds, otherwise his more logical brain will talk himself out of it. Of course, this doesn’t mean to give to everything that pulls your emotional strings—instead, it’s about very intentionally and carefully listening for God’s voice.  Continue reading

5 Verses that will change the way you think about generosity

The paths that everyone’s generosity journey takes is always different. However, during the interview process for The Generosity Bet, some of the story contributors shared unique and even unfamiliar Scripture verses that radically altered their understanding of generosity:

Pastor Rick Warren, cropped1. Pastor Rick Warren, Saddleback Church

“Two things I asked of You. Do not refuse me before I die: keep deception and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, that I not be full and deny You and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or that I not be in want and steal, and profane the name of my God.” – Proverbs 30:7-9

“Everybody talks about the Prayer of Jabez, but you ought to learn to pray the Prayer of Agur where he says, ‘Lord don’t let me become too poor or too rich, but just give me what I need.’

“…I believe there’s a direct connection between maturity and money, between spiritual power and possession, between how much God is able to bless me and how good a money manager I am. And if God cannot trust you with material blessing, He’s not going to give you spiritual power. And I’m far more interested in the power and the anointing and the blessing of God.”

2. Craig & April Chapman, INRIX Chapman, CraigApril

“‘Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,’ says the Lord of hosts, ‘if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.’” – Malachi 3:10

“Our goal in life–and our security–was all about financial independence and worldly success. But things changed when April and I [Craig] were married in 1994. We had both been previously married, and both brought significant debt into our marriage. But, in spite of our difficult financial situation, our opinion of biblical giving changed very quickly. April was introduced to Malachi 3:10 and shared with me that it is the only place in the Bible where God asks us to test Him. We both knew in our hearts that if we truly loved God, it was only right that we obey His command to give.”

Barnhart, Alan3. Alan Barnhart, Barnhart Crane & Rigging

“But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.” – I Timothy 6:9

“I had a natural tendency, maybe everyone does, to want more stuff, to want nice stuff. I wanted to counteract that, not only for myself, but also for my family. When my family and I looked at going into business, we saw as a dangerous thing if we succeeded. So we decided, ‘Let’s not do this unless we put some safeguards in our lives to make this business a positive thing rather than a negative.’ We set out not to get rich. We set out to avoid becoming rich.”

4. Henry Kaestner, Sovereign’s Capital Kaestner, Henry

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.” – II Corinthians 8:9

“A friend challenged me to answer why I gave. I said something about God giving us a lot so we wanted to give back. However, in the back of my mind, I was thinking that my wife and I were probably giving 20% now—double tithing. There’s probably a place in Heaven for the double-tithers. And I was thinking that God would be happy with our giving because He needed our money to fund things that weren’t being funded. Ultimately, it was bad theology.

“That question brought me back to passages like 2 Corinthians 8:9 where it explains the difference between wealth and poverty. God took two loaves and five fish and fed two thousand. He doesn’t need our money. He wants our hearts.”

Elliott, Vince5. Vince Elliott, Fortiter Wealth Management

“Otherwise you may say in your heart, ‘My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.’ But you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.” – Deuteronomy 8:18

“I’m a financial advisor who thinks money isn’t very important. In fact, I think wealth may be more dangerous to your family than a blessing. My role in client’s lives is to help them keep money in its proper place and help clients pursue their true roles. I know the man you claim to be, and I’m going to walk alongside you to help you remain that man because money will change who you are. The only way to keep that from happening is to hold wealth with an open hand.”

What verses have shaped your understanding of generosity?